A Photo

I want to tell all of you about my amazing weekend with my husband and his family because we had too much fun and I will fill everyone in later in the week, but something caught my attention this morning that can't be ignored.

All of you know that I read Nie and have talked about her and her story on my blog before. Yesterday was the first day that she released a picture of herself AC (after crash, as she calls it). I think all who read her regularly were curious as she recovered enough to blog about how different she looked and how she was working so hard to accept herself. But my heart broke into a million pieces when I saw her post that showed a picture of her and her husband, her love, as they are now, forever changed both inside and out by the tragedy that struck them a year ago. It has to be the most intimate picture I've ever seen - a woman, so young, whose former life had been yanked from her looking so vulnerably up at her husband. They aren't looking at the camera, they are looking into each other's eyes - gazing at each other as if their lives depend on it. It is the quintessential portrait of marriage, in my opinion, and it made my heart ache in my chest. I wanted to weep as I gazed upon a devotion so intense and consuming and accepting to allow for all of life's tragedies and changes, even the ones that are so deep and heartwrenching that it makes you gasp for breath.

But I truly believe, as I look at their picture and read their story, that they are not concerned because they don't look the same as they did on their wedding day. They are rejoicing because they defied the odds and are still together, a couple chosen for each other by a Loving Father before time began.

I sit here looking at this couple...my age and going through so much and I am ashamed. I am ashamed for being materialistic, shallow, and not stopping a million times a day to thank God for all my blessings. I often find myself doing what a lot of women do...comparing. Oh, her life is so much easier, oh they have so much more money, oh she's so much thinner...does it matter, really? No, not at all. What does matter are the people I take for granted every day...including my husband, whose heart is so big that it threatens to overtake him and who loves me with all that he is. In this world, so full of tragedy and sadness and imperfections, what else does a woman really need except to have the man that she loves gaze on her like she is the most beautiful thing on earth, loving her not just for the physical, but for everything else.

As my marriage to Chad comes to its first year's celebration, I pray that I continue to be worthy of his love and devotion. He is a prince among common men, a fighter and a beautiful soul that touches lives. I get angry because the sheets aren't washed or there are dishes in the sink, but it doesn't matter. What matters is that we can look at each other and share a thought without a word being said...what matters is that he makes me laugh and holds me when I fall apart...what matters is that we can sit and hold hands and be content. Or look at each other and forget about the rest of the world.

Please continue to pray for Nie and her family as they recover. Read more about their story here.