Stop Him Before He Walks Out That Door!

In my short time as a married woman, I have come to know a few things about men and clothes. Or at least, my husband and clothes. One is that he could care less about labels, unlike his label whoring wife, and two, sometimes he's blind about his fashion choices while other times he's quite particular about every tuck and crease. Thankfully, these particular times are few and far between. Hubby is more of a polo and jeans kind of guy.

He's also a guy who is cool with the fact that he is about to celebrate his 28th birthday - not old by any means, but not the teenage guy that he once was. And, like any man with a functioning brain, he's realized that there are just some items of clothing and clothing stores that are better left for the younger crowd.

Unfortunately, that was not at all the case for the over 35 gentleman who opened the door for me this morning on my way in to work. I couldn't help but notice that he had on some "destroyed" jeans - you know what I'm talking about - the expensive kind that looks like they've been run over by a Hummer. Fine. Whatever. But when I looked closer (no I wasn't gawking, thankyouverymuch), I noticed that they had the store's name imprinted on the front and side of the jeans!!!! It looked like the man was a walking billboard. And the most unfortunate thing? It was a store for young 'uns. American Eagle to be exact. Corporate office guy was sporting his destroyed denim with label on display American Eagle jeans on casual Friday. On purpose, evidently.

Now, first of all, there is not a thing wrong with American Eagle jeans - even though there is much wrong with the jeans that man was wearing, including the fact that the store even sold them in the first place they were so fugly. But let me just tell it to you straight: I went through my Abercrombie & Fitch/Hollister/American Eagle phase. I did. And there's nothing wrong with picking up a sweater from there or a cute top every once in a while. But there comes a point in time when it's just NOT OKAY for men and women "of a certain age" to be shopping at the same clothing stores as their children. It's just awkward.

Scenario:
Hey Dad! (who is in the dressing room beside teenage daughter),
How do these camis look with this destroyed denim mini? OMG! Those flared leg jeans are sooo you!

See how it could get weird?

Now some stores are exceptions, like Express and Gap. Even Express is pushing it sometimes for me, even though my husband loves their jeans (they come in short sizes). While I was all about Express whenever I was going through my bar hopping days, it's not really my clothing store of choice. Also, it makes me feel fat when I go in there.

Y'all, you just can't age gracefully in American Eagle jeans.