The Dinner Dilemma

I am looking at my clock and see that it's almost time to make the decision that makes all other decisions look ridiculously easy and have the conversation that I've been having every night for the past few years...

Me: "I'm hungry. Are you hungry?"

Hubby: "Yeah...what do you want to eat?"

Me: "I don't know...what are you thinking?"

Hubby: "Whatever you want."

Me: "But I don't KNOW what I want!"

Hubby: "Well, I don't care. Kel, you know I'll eat whatever. It really doesn't matter that much."

Me: "Well I guess I'll just have soup." (The same soup that I eat pretty much every day because I'm strange and get into weird eating habits that include eating the same things for months on end until I finally get so disgusted with it that I won't eat it for years after. Currently, I'm on Progresso Slow Cooked Beef & Vegetables.)

Hubby: Makes a sighing sound that he swears he doesn't make but gets me infuriated because I KNOW that he's making it.

And on and on and on. Some couples fight about whether or not the toilet seat is up or down. Some couples fight about who is the better driver. Hubby and I? We fight about what we're going to eat. The thing is this: my metabolism basically went on hiatus as soon as I hit 24, but hubby's is still chugging along pretty swiftly considering the amount of absolute crap he ingests on a daily basis. I'm talking about BK, McDonalds crap. He really could have been on that documentary that showed how to lose weight when you're on a strict Mickey D's diet. I try not to hold a grudge.

Anywho, the dinner hour is coming quickly and I am going to try and stand my ground tonight because as soon as I walk in the door it's going to start. I can count on that like I can count on the fact that Chad will have at least two cheeseburgers this week.

It's a given.

Valentine's

Ohhhh Valentine's Day...I have never been a big fan of you. Maybe it was because as a kid I felt so much pressure to have a Valentine...and most holidays came and went and I didn't. It really sucked watching friends in high school get flowers or cute cards or jewelry or whatever and I was left with a couple of those yucky Sweethearts. No, it wasn't all bad. My parents never let me down...always giving me a sweet card or a box of chocolates or something...which kind of makes having no Valentine even more pathetic when you're a kid, but looking back, it's just more proof that I have the best parents in the entire universe. Case in point - I was in college and, amazingly, did not have a Valentine and I came home after class to find that my daddy had cooked a special Valentine's Day dinner for us.

Luckily, the good Lord decided to make Valentine's into a real celebration when, four years ago, I started dating my husband. We had only been dating a few months and I just knew that he was the one. Our first Valentine's together, he gave me a beautiful diamond necklace. And then, a year after that, on February 13th (um, we refuse to be a cliche), he proposed.

Needless to say, I have made my peace with this holiday of love...even though it's cheesy, even though it features a fat baby with a weapon and wings. It is another day to celebrate my life with my husband...and eat chocolate. What sucks about that?

Fever

Everyone in my life seems to preggers. Or post-preggers. From my sister-in-law who is close to her third trimester with baby Brayden, to Chad's cousin-in-law who is due any minute now with baby Emerson, to friends from high school and college who have recently given birth to beautiful little mini-thems who are tiny and perfect...it was only a matter of time before I got the fever myself.

No, Mom, we're not trying for a baby. Yet.

But I did put a picture of Chad and me together...just to see...and this is what came up:

Hmmm....

Inspired

I am a huge fan of Stephanie Nielsen, the author of the Nie Nie Dialogues, wife, mother to four, and currently recovering from a plane crash that burned over 80% of her body. I have talked about her to my family and friends, most recently sharing her story with my SIL, who was as captivated as I was. I even wrote Stephanie a short email...totally weird and random, but sometimes I think it's okay to let the people who inspire you know that they do, even if you don't know them personally.

Anyway, today's post on the Nie Nie Dialogues is her top 2009 moments with her husband, Mr. Nielsen. In the spirit of imitation being the best (if not the most original) form of flattery, I took my cue from her and would like to share my top ten moments with my mister with you all...

10. Watching the entire series of The Office with Chad on Netflix and wasting many many enjoyable hours doing so (and constantly comparing our story to Jim & Pam).

9. Chad cooking dinner while he's out of school and me coming home and not having to do a thing. What a treat!

8. Going to the beach in October to celebrate our anniversary (belatedly) and being able to relax and eat fantastic seafood the whole time.

7. Spending almost every summer weekend at the lake house with our family and friends.

6. Watching Chad become closer to my dad...something I believe is a key factor to his current sobriety. Thank you a million times over, honey.

5. Feet touching before sleep. Every night. Large talons and all.

4. Cuddling with the puppies...it's a daily must and it's always fantastic.

3. The celebration of a year's worth of birthdays, holidays, days that aren't anything special on a calendar, but still celebrating...especially celebrating our first year of marriage.

2. Silly songs, made up phrases, and basically being "tenderoni ponies."

1. Hand holding in the car. I'm so glad it hasn't stopped.

Oh So Handsome

I haven't blogged this week. I've been sick. More about that later.
But I just had to share with y'all this awesome pic of my husband, taken by a wonderful photographer (and sweet as pie person!) Melissa Skidmore. This is from SIL's wedding in April, but we had Melissa take pictures of hubby and me at the beach with the dogs when we were at Cherry Grove a couple of weeks ago.

They are incredible.

If you are in the market for beach photos and need a great photographer in the coastal SC area, use Melissa. You can find her online at http://www.melissaskidmorephotography.com/.

Enjoy the pic. I am so blessed by having this man in my life.

Myrtle Beach 2009

Giant black hat - purchased at Talbot's for $7.

One of my favorite parts of the movie, Shag, is when Pudge, Carson, LouAnn, and Melana FINALLY get to Ocean Boulevard (aka, the strip) and they are just looking around awestruck and they pass by the Pavilion and LouAnn remarks, "There's the Pavilion, Pudge!" Since the movie was actually shot in Myrtle Beach, there is, of course, a shot of the old wooden rickety roller coaster that graced the Pavilion since my mom was a kid.

Last week was the first time I had seen the Pavilion site since the park has been torn down. News flash - it's really really gone. Yes, it was just a large carnival, full of scary rednecks, dirt, bad food, and peace frog t-shirts. But it was also a huge part of not only my childhood, but my parents' as well. I overcame my fear of the pirate ship ride there with my mom. And my cousin puked on the Caterpillar ride. And my dad would always make scary noises in the haunted house. And when you rode the Rainbow, you could see the ocean's waves crashing on the shore from the very top of the ride before it swooped down, leaving your tummy at the top. To say that I miss that old place, tackiness and all, is an understatement.

Myrtle Beach has both changed and stayed the same. You can still see all the old '60's era "no tell motels", but a lot of the really skank ones have been torn down. There is no longer a board walk in front of the old Pavilion site. The food and choice of restaurants, however, has gotten even larger. Let me just tell y'all this - when hubby and I are on vacation, we eat out. A lot. And when we're on the coast, we eat seafood in copious amounts.

Our culinary week started with a visit to a community north of Cherry Grove - Calabash, NC, home of both calabash style seafood and St. Nick Nack's, one of the biggest Christmas stores I've ever been in. Calabash is a fun little place, full of restaurants that have been around since the '40's, most located on the waterfront with the fishing boats in plain view. And my dessert that night was a visit to St. Nick Nack's, where (as my mama taught me), I had to buy a Christmas ornament to commemorate our 2009 vacation. It took quite a while and I think my dear hubby was getting indigestion from both the hushpuppies and the Christmas carols being played well before Halloween.

We also ate at the largest buffet I've ever been to - the Original Captain Benjamin's, which was complete with a pirate to open the door for us and say "Ahoy matey!" Yes, that really happened. The all you can eat crab legs made up for the corniness of the pirate. If there's anything that is near and dear to my heart, it is all you can eat crab legs. It really becomes a treasure hunt (in keeping with the pirate theme of the night) to get the crab meat out of the shell. I think of it as exercising while I'm eating.

Our final seafood restaurant was on the last night and was the most hole in the wall place I could have imagined - Duffy's Seafood Shack. But I kid you not, that was the best flounder I have ever had and I'm sure that their steamed oysters were amazing, but unfortunately, I didn't get to try them.

I can't believe I just wrote a whole post on food. No wonder I feel fat.

The Strip

Unfortunately, this post will contain nothing controversial, as the title implies. The strip I am referring to have nothing to do with THAT kind of strip. Rather, this entire post has everything to do with snoring. Like, loud, obnoxious snoring that "moves curtains." Unfortunately, I am the culprit in this embarrassment and hubby is the one who suffers. Actually, I suffer, too, as I never seem to get enough sleep even though there have been several Saturdays in a row where I have indulged in long naps lasting approximately four hours.

See, here's the thing when you become one in the bonds of holy matrimony - your sleep patterns become his sleep patterns and vice versa. No longer is your only concern whether you are hot or cold or if your pillow needs replacing. No, now your concerns include all of the above and the fact that your darling husband sleeps diagonal, or with one leg propped up, or snuggled all up in your grill. Or that his sweet wife drools, talks in her sleep, and snores. All in the same night. We have crazy bedroom entertainment going on, y'all.

There is really nothing you can do about the diagonal sleeping or talking in your sleep...but there IS something that can be done about the snoring, other than going to see a sleep specialist, which really freaks me out and I refuse to do because how in the world would I be able to fall asleep hooked up to things without the help of Ambien or 5 Benadryls? It's called a Breathe Right strip and I believe that it's sent from God to help save marriages.

It's especially sexy when the husband applies the strip to the wife's nose, leaving her looking like she just got a nose job and the nostrils are swollen to twice their normal size. Hot. Or when the snoring is so bad that the husband wakes his wife up and looks for the dang strip HIMSELF so that he can enjoy a peaceful night's sleep.

It's only a strip. But in actuality, it is so much more.

Awkward?

Last night Chad and I went to Fuddrucker's (home over the overpriced cheeseburger) with my mom, step-mom, and little sister. No, that's not the awkward part that the title of this blog suggests. My mom and step-mom get along very well and my mom has become a sort of hybrid aunt/grandmother/very good family friend to my little sister.

No, the awkward moment happened when I came face to face with a guy from college that I haven't seen in four years. No biggie, right? Well, it just so happened that I had kind of a crush on this guy, who was a ministry major when I was going through the wildest part of my "bar fly" stage. He was a really good friend to me throughout some troubling issues I was going through, but we remained just friends, much to my dismay and efforts at trying to make the situation different. He also listened to me spill my emotional guts all over the school library and, dear Lord, I think I cried in front of this guy. Seriously. Needy much?

Thankfully, I am not the same girl I was in college and I was sitting next to the handsome man who is my husband. After college guy left the table and I was able to speak without sounding like an idiot, I leaned over to my husband and explained that I had had a crush on guy in college. And that the feelings hadn't been reciprocated.

And my sweet husband leaned back over and whispered, "what an idiot!"

That is why I love him. Even in the awkward moments.

A Philosophical Argument

Hubby is taking a class called "Contemporary Moral Issues" this semester. It's basically a class that talks about, well, contemporary issues and morality (hence the name - a creative one, I must say). He's all into these really abstract arguments and discussions that go on and, being the little intelligent sponge that he is, wants to come home and share with me. Which is fine, but after a day of talking on the phone to people with a less than average intelligence level, your own intelligence level goes down a notch. I was most definitely not in the "wax philosophical mood" tonight.

Our conversation on the way to Wendy's (WENDY'S PEOPLE!) went something like this:

Hubby: So today in my contemporary moral issues class we were talking about God. What is omnipotent?

Me: Um...I think it means "all surrounding" and "all powerful"...or something.

Hubby: (More stuff about God and how there's a catch 22 because God couldn't make a rock that He couldn't pick up) So why does 2 + 2 = 4? I mean, what made it that way?

Me: Huh? (Focused on my upcoming dinner of chili and a baked potato)

Hubby: I just feel like you aren't going to like me being a teacher.

Me: (Getting pissed off because I DON'T KNOW WHY 2+2=4 AND I DON'T CARE AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT THIS HAS TO DO WITH HIM WANTING TO TEACH MIDDLE SCHOOLERS) Why do you say that? (Said pissed off too)

Hubby: Because I want to talk about this stuff and you never want to listen.

Me: (Realizing that my chili and baked potato will come at a price) I do listen. But I'm not in class and I don't understand really what you're talking about! And it really hurts my feelings that you don't think I won't listen to you when you're a teacher (I will, I will, I promise, just FEED ME)...

Anyway, obviously there was more to the conversation, but you have a life to lead. The moral of this philosophical argument is this:

To get to the food, one must be agreeable. Especially if the disagreeable person is driving.

We Went, We Saw, We Ate Chinese

Just to remind you, one of our second year marriage resolutions is to kick our fitness schedule up a notch. And by "up a notch" I mean getting up off the couch and doing some sort of physical activity. As all of you know, I was a proud (if semi non-active) Jazzercise member since April and it was costing us $42 a month (not that bad). The only downside was the scheduling - I would only be able to make it to classes at 6:30, be done at 7:30 and not get home until 8:00. When you arrive at work by 7:30 in the a.m. (or 7:45ish, in my case), that is what I consider a REALLY. LONG. DAY.

So hubby suggested that we start going to his university's wellness center together. And it would only be $25 a month for me to join. SO...let's just weigh our options...getting to spend more time with my hubby (check), almost HALF OFF what we were normally paying (check), having to work out among mere children who have yet to see the appearance of  fine lines around their eyes (not so much a check)....anyway, the point is, the pros outweighed the cons and we decided to be like Nike and just do it, so I canceled my Jazzercise membership.

On Monday evening, I drove home to meet Chad, changed into my work out clothes, and we were on our way to the wellness center. We drove up and went in and signed up. The people helping us were obviously college kids, probably wondering who the uncool married couple was wanting to use the facilities. I already felt tired. And a little embarassed because every person I had seen up until that point was under the legal drinking age.

Hubby was excited to show me around, and, I must admit, it is one heck of a wellness center. Three stories, with a pool, steam rooms, and work out machines with TVs attached. And heck no, I'm not kidding! Hopefully I will be able to get some quality television time while working out! I just love killing two birds with one stone. It took both Hubby and me some time to figure out how to work the machines and we still couldn't figure out how to turn the little attached TVs on. No matter. I'm sure it's just technology that we old folks aren't aware of yet.

Unfortunately, I didn't feel the pressing need to get my fitness on (I think my yoga pants were too tight), so, after touring the facilities, wondering why the raquet ball rooms were closed for construction, and being completely intimdated by the pool and wondering how in the world I would get in without some 19 year-old svelte girl staring at me in my tankini, I turned to hubby and said "Can we go now? I'm starving." Because he is the sweet man God created just for me, he nodded happily in agreement and away we went - not to a healthy place for a nice salad, but to a local Chinese buffet - you know the kind...frog legs beside lo mein, steamed crawfish next to the Jell-O. A real classy place where they never run out of egg rolls and trust me, you don't EVEN want to try the sushi.

So I have actually seen and set foot in the wellness center. That's one thing down. And I'm not concerned. I'm sure it will be there next week.

Suck It Up (And In)

Because my husband loves me and is awesome, we are doing something new...getting in shape. Since the church thing is going so well (EARLY again on Sunday - what?!) AND we cleaned out my Jeep and took a load of stuff to the Goodwill, we are prepared to tackle the next thing on our lists - the big one. And I don't mean the credit cards we're paying off.

Let's just say that both hubby and I have, ahem, changed since we first laid eyes on each other and fell madly in love. Okay, that last sentence most certainly didn't happen, but the point is, neither one of us is especially happy with our current physique and we are FOR REAL going to do something about it. I lost almost 25 lbs getting in shape for our wedding but every single one of those pounds have come back home to roost. Which is lovely. And I complain about each individual pound daily. And I hear hubby keep saying that he has "moobs" - which he doesn't, but is convinced that he does. So my ex-Marine and I are joining the Wellness Center at his university. And we start our fitness plan of attack tonight. I can already feel that I am going to pass out and possibly smack my adorable husband if he starts pulling some Marine training crap on me.

So, ladies and gents, here is my plan of attack. I am using SparkPeople again, which, if you haven't tried it, is actually a cool and free way to track your fitness and nutritional data each day. Go to http://www.sparkpeople.com/ to check it out and sign up. I will be using it to track everything that enters my mouth and all the exercise I will be doing. It helps keep you accountable and shows you where you mess up. It helped me lose the weight to walk down the aisle and it will most definitely help me lose the weight to attend my husband's 10 year reunion, which is in one year, and will have Baby Mama in attendance. If THAT is not a reason to become anorexic and get a boob job, I don't know what is. Kidding, y'all, kidding.

In other news, I don't have gall stones. The pains are gone and my blood work came back completely normal. I blame the Mexican food.

Thanks for the prayers!

Newlyweds No More

Hubby and I had a great anniversary weekend, even though it was probably not everyone's typical idea of what a first anniversary weekend should entail. Our romantic day/night was on Friday. Chad brought me flowers at work, we ate lunch, and then he cooked a fantastic meal on Friday night. And that was the end of "us" time.

We had Chad's daughter, C, this weekend and our two nieces spent the night on Saturday and we had to get everyone up and ready for church on Sunday morning. Amazingly, hubby and I accomplished it! I was pretty proud that not only were three kids under the age of 10 up, dressed, and fed by 8:15 am, but we were even on time for church. That has never happened!

After church we ate a delicious brunch at Mimi's Cafe with my mom and step-dad and went back and hung out at their house for a while. They gave us a beautiful anniversary gift - a shadow box that has some of our wedding memorabilia displayed, including the letter Chad gave to me the day of our wedding. It is such a special gift and we have already found a special place for it at home. After spending time with that side of the family, we headed (with two kids in tow) to a friend's going away party. And after THAT, we took the girls home and headed down to the lake house to spend some time with my dad, step-mom, and sister.

We also ate the top tier from our wedding cake. It tasted...different. But, in the name of tradition, we ate a couple of bites and threw the rest away. We also talked about what our "resolutions" were going to be for our second year of marriage:

1. Continue to pay off our credit card debt and get even more serious about it so we can be debt free sooner,

2. Get back in the habit of going to church every Sunday,

3. Set little goals every week for ourselves and accomplish them,

4. Work out together and get in shape.

Wow, sounds like New Year's came early to our household. I can't wait to see what year number two brings!

An Anniversary Love Letter

A Love Letter On Our Anniversary

Dear Chad,

Can you believe that it's been a whole 365 days since THAT day? You know the one I'm talking about...the one that involved so much planning, tears, and stress, but culminated into such a beautiful party on an Indian summer day, celebrating the two of us. Even though there was music and laughter and lots and lots of great food and wine, I was only concerned with you and the forever that we promised each other. I could feel the newness of my wedding band and kept glancing down at it, knowing that this would be the piece of jewelry that would always be the most important to me, not because it sparkled (even though it did and does and I love it) but because it let everyone know that I had been taken out of my former life and placed in a new one as your wife.

And what a year it has been, my love, since that day that we said "I Do." We have a million tiny moments that have made up the tapestry of our first year as man and wife. We traveled to a new country and swam with the dolphins and saw ancient ruins, we celebrated Christmas as newlyweds, we rang in the New Year with those closest to us, we saw C & M say their vows by the ocean, dealt with job issues, then the issue of no job; you finished the first half of your journey to a degree (and I am so proud), we decided to finally be smart about finances and say no to credit cards, and we threw away our couch. We ate a lot of take out and discovered a mutual love for well written television shows. We snuggled with our dogs and you taught me how to be a better parent to your (our) daughter. We talked about the future and dreamed, but lived in the present and loved. I saw you grow closer to my family and I grew closer to yours. We were finally able to go back to the lake house and now you have shared in the memories of such a special part of my childhood. We have started our own traditions as our family. I guess you could say, in this first year, we have truly become one.

There are so many things for us to look forward to in the coming years and also many things that will not be easy to endure and overcome. But I know, because of the love and kindness you've shown me, that we will make it through and be the ones who are not a statistic, but a couple who are looked to as examples of a Christian marriage, planned and ordained by our Lord.

I love you, Baby. Here's to the second year and all the ones to follow. Happy Anniversary. 

Feeling Romantic

I'm feeling a little sappy now that I'm 3 days and counting until my one year wedding anniversary. Sorry.

I remember when I was going through a bad breakup with my college boyfriend (he who shall not be named) and I knew that I wasn't supposed to be with him for numerous reasons, one being that my dad was about to threaten him with a shotgun. (I used to have questionable taste in men. I also broke up with/got back together with he who shall not be named several times before finally coming to my senses.)

 I used to listen to this song and dream and cry and pray...that God would send me the person He created just for me.

Maybe you're in a single girl situation, waiting, and really not understanding why the man of your dreams hasn't knocked down your door with his trusty steed. It's okay to wait, even though it's the hardest thing you will do. Don't forget - He is faithful.

Celebrate 365 Days

So, as I've mentioned several times already, our first wedding anniversary is coming up (the us is my husband and me, just in case there was some confusion). We really don't have the funds to do anything extravagant...okay, we DEFINITELY don't have the funds to do anything extravagant, but it's still a landmark day and I've been trying to figure out what to do to make the occasion memorable. I mean, 365 days of wedded bliss is pretty huge. Britney didn't even make it a whole week with her first marriage (and her second one wasn't much longer, by the way).

I've done a little research - actually, Chad has, too, I need to give him some credit - and the traditional gift given on a first anniversary is paper. Okay let me just stop and say this - who the HECK sat down and thought up these "proper" gifts? I am all about manners and being proper (even though I still haven't sent out my wedding thank you's, yes Mom, I know you're read this and I've embarrassed you to the point of joining the witness protection program...but you still have all my love), but PAPER? Unless it's money, I'm good on the paper front. Really.

Anyway, Chad and I tried to be creative about a paper gift...like... buying tickets. However, the only concert that I want to go to is Taylor Swift and if we went without my step-daughter she would develop some sort of anger issue that may not be resolved until her mid-twenties. Also, my husband has been subjected to me singing "Love Story" one too many times. I love him too much to make him go see Taylor Swift with me. I thought about buying tickets to the Atlanta Opera because during his music appreciation class, Chad discovered that he was all about some opera music. Unfortunately, opera music makes me feel like I would rather stick a fork through my eye. Luckily, there aren't any shows playing on September 6, so I have saved myself from having to go to the opera...for now. And I know that I shouldn't say anything until I've experienced it, so when I do go to the opera, I'll probably be on here writing about how much I love it.

Yesterday, Chad mentioned going to the Biltmore House. It's beautiful and I love history, but every time I go, I feel like I'm back on a 5th grade field trip because when you live only an hour away from a house with as much historical significance as Biltmore, the teachers are like, SCORE, and every year you get to go and visit with your class. Well, not every year, but you know. And I feel like the owners of Biltmore are struggling to get people to visit because they keep talking about how they've opened up all these rooms that have never been seen by the public before. I believe they are secretly building more rooms on the sly to drum up business. Stranger things have happened.

So as of today, I am still at a loss on how to honor my husband on our one year anniversary. So if anyone has any ideas, please let me know. Maybe if they had the complimentary wine tasting while ON the house tour, it may shake things up a little....

Also -I got a comment from a reader about great jeans yesterday. She directed me to the site http://www.ilovethesejeans.com/ and they sell these jeans at a boutique nearby - I am definitely going to check it out! Thanks!

The Grossness of You

I have discovered a lot of things since I got married...actually, since I moved in with Chad two years ago (yes, we lived in sin for a total of 15 1/2 months). The one thing I have learned that keeps rearing its ugly head again and again is that I have a weak stomach. Living with a man does not help matters because when you get married, ladies, IT ALL HANGS OUT. You can take that how you want, but I'm just telling you. Nothing is off limits anymore, except when someone is going number two and YOU. HAVE. TO. CLEAN. THE. TOILET. Sometimes its more than I can handle.

For instance: Chad has been developing this respiratory thing that started last Wednesday or Thursday. His nose was clogged and then he started coughing this croupy cough that ended with a hacking sound. You can hear the phlegm rattling around and then he coughs it up and I start gagging. I know he can't help it, I know he's sick, and I know that he needs to get it out. But I also know that it sounds absolutely disgusting. It got to the point on Friday when we were driving that I had to cover my ears or risk upchucking my Chick-Fil-A. He couldn't decide whether or not to go to the doctor (why is it such a huge decision, by the way? Just go!) and he called me this morning at work and wanted me to hear how it sounded when he breathed in and out. Nothing like hearing a chest rattle over your Starbucks at 9 am. I STRONGLY encouraged him to go to the doctor. He did and he's going to be just fine with his three prescriptions.

On the other side of things, my hubby and his phlegm doesn't really have it much better. Girls can be pretty gross, too. My hair constantly falls out (I call it molting) and it creeps Chad out. I can't figure out why because it's just hair, but he can't stand it - especially if it gets stuck to the shower curtain. I have seen him literally shiver when he comes in contact with my molted locks of hair.

So between phlegmy coughs and random stray hairs, we are learning to live with the grossness of each other. A lot of married couples of dealt with far grosser things than what I've mentioned, but again, I have a pretty weak stomach. Evidently Chad does, too. Another reason we're perfect for each other.

Why Yes

Oh, hello there! So you thought that I had fallen off the face of blogland, right? Well, I didn't. I wish I could say that I've been so busy I haven't even had time to THINK, but unfortunately, I have just been lazy. No more though! I am turning over a new leaf - promise.

I also wish I could tell you about all the exciting things that hubby and I have been doing. But, again, unfortunately, that is not possible because our lives consist of pretty normal, every day things, only right now we're doing those things in oppressive South Carolina August humidity. It's like you can drink the air down here. It will be that way until October, guarantee it.

In other news...I still haven't cleaned out my Jeep (see "laziness" remark, above) and exercise has become a distant memory. The walk in from the humid air is enough exertion to make you gasp for (liquid) air, so I prefer to stay (seated) indoors with an industrial air conditioner, or, if I must take myself outside, a body of water needs to be within jumping in distance.

And in dog news...the wall eating dog is back. Hubby actually fixed the areas where she had decided to gnaw into the sheetrock and low and behold, she did it again...in the same spot. I don't get it. Does the wall taste like a bottle of Reisling or something? If so, then I'll join the dog. But I'm thinking it tastes more like, well, wall...so I'm still unsure of why she's so obsessed with it. Our other dog decided that he couldn't wait to empty his bladder and instead of doing it on the floor where we could actually clean it up, he let it fly on the sofa. And it soaked all the way in.

YEAH.

We decided to chuck the sofa...and may it rest in peace at the county dump. As of now, our living room looks like a poor college kid's. Oh wait, technically one half of our marriage is still in school, so that makes sense. We're not inviting people over unless they want to sit on the floor because we don't have seating. Like, for real...we do not have seating in our living room. We did salvage the loveseat (which is now the focus of both dogs' obsessive tendencies, but luckily not their bladders), but any visitor count over two will have to commune on the floor with us.

Kumbaya.

No no drama...

Last night was drama, from the time I got off work until the time I laid my head down to sleep. Seriously. I am exhausted this morning from a night that involved a sports store, a forgetful husband, a cop with an attitude, and half of the first episode of "True Blood." Sounds insane, right? Well it is. Like my life in general.

So when I get off work, I call my SIL and decide to go with her to Academy Sports at Westgate (on the other side of the world from Greenville, by the way) in order to get my niece some stuff for a hiking trip. Okay, all is well and good. She comes by my house and picks me up and off we go. Five minutes into the trip, my phone rings and it is hubby, who is done with his Tuesday night class. Our conversation went something like this:

"Did you bring your laptop home?" (him)
"No, I didn't think you needed it since last night you hardly used it for school purposes and spent your time surfing the Internet and we have a computer that is capable of Internet connection taking up precious space in our office until we get a space saving and fabulous laptop."
"Well, I have a project due tonight for that online class."
"Well, the laptop is at work."
"Well, I need it, so what are we going to do?"

Oh. my. goodness. Ladies, do any of you have husbands that are more precious than gold but more forgetful and procrastinating than an I don't know what?

Long story (and conversation) short, we end up getting mad at each other and I spend the rest of the trip to Academy irritated at the thought of having to go back to work for my laptop. SIL drives me back home and I walk in to find that hubby had cleaned the bathroom. Obviously he knew I was ticked off.

So I head BACK on the road with hubby, only to find that the traffic light is blocked by police cars because the light is out and it's a very busy intersection. Neither of us can figure out what to do, so we take a right and then turn around to head back the way we wanted to come initially. And get followed by a cop car. And get pulled over.

Have I mentioned my aversion to the DMV? This kind of plays a part in this story, so let me catch you up. I have had the wrong license tag on my Jeep for, oh, going on three years now. True story. I have the correct license plate in my car, but the stickers are wrong and I just went on my merry way and never had it fixed. I've actually been pulled over (for speeding) and the cop was great about the tag and just told me to go and get it fixed. But I didn't.

Well, last night, we got pulled over by "cop with a 'tude" who had obviously had a bad day and let us have it for not having the right tag on. My ticked off mood became worse because he kept talking to Chad and I was like, "Dude. This is my car. My bad. If you must ticket me, please do, but save the lecture. I can get that from parents." I didn't really say that, but I wanted to. He let us go with a warning and a glare and we drove on in silence, me so angry at myself that I wanted to cry. I hate lectures.

Anywho, we get to work, I run in and get the laptop and get back in and we look at each other and just start cracking up. It felt so much better after that, like life was going to be okay. He stopped by Starbucks to get me a vanilla milk steamer and we went back home, him to do his homework, me to watch the first episode of "True Blood."

I have tried to watch bootlegged copies of this ever since I started reading the Sookie Stackhouse series. Ya'll. This show is weird. I feel guilty watching it because it's so bizarre, like a freakshow.

So, to end the long day, I turned off the weird movie and went to bed. And today is another day.

These Dreams

I dream in technicolor. Seriously. I have always been able to remember my dreams and they are so REAL and lifelike that there have been several occasions when I have woken up and wondered if they really happened. Strange but true. Evidently, dreaming in technicolor can be hazardous to your sleeping partner's health. Like my husband.

So last night, I'm in the middle of this crazy insane dream involving me and a ginormous girl getting into some kind of fist fight and she was trying to stab my with a mechanical pencil. There was no one that I knew in the dream and I'm not normally a violent person, so I have no idea where this came from. But all of a sudden I am kicking (and by kicking I mean full on donkey kicking) my husband, who sits up and is like "WHAT THE CRAP?!" Who can blame him, really. I'm sure if he had been kicking me for no apparent reason, I would have assumed my Linda Blair personality and my head would have started spinning. I came out of my wacked out dream quickly, and realized what I was doing and feeling mortified. Because this has happened before. Um...yeah, you read that correctly. I have physically abused poor Chad before when I was in the middle of a dream. Except that other time...I smacked him in the face. I believe that he used in an expletive when he woke up to THAT.

I don't have violent tendencies, really. I have no idea why I keep having these realistic dreams where I hit people...weird. Maybe I need a vacation. I'm at least going to read up on what these dreams mean. Weird.

Keeps Getting Better

I really love the fact that Chad got laid off. Now, I know that sounds horrible because there are people who are desperate for work, but thankfully, we are able to continue our meager existence on one person's paycheck, the GI Bill, and some unemployment benefits (no, neither of us have ever collected, we've paid in for years, and after spending 3 hours at that God forsaken place on my birthday, we will take WHATEVER money they send and run, thankyouverymuch). For right now, we're okay. And so many things are getting done around my house that just never really got done before.



For instance...yesterday, amid cleaning the poo, Chad also decided to just take a go at the floors in our bedroom so he swept out from behind our bed. I'm sure the amount of fur collected could have covered several small animals with new hair and last night, I slept in less hair bliss (please note that this is different from "hair-less bliss" - our home will never be that). Do I ever have time to move the bed and sweep the fur balls? Negative. But my stay at home husband does.



He also cooked me dinner last night. With candle light and a dozen of the prettiest pink roses God ever made. On the night that Season 2 Disc 1 of "Big Love" arrived at our house. Life does not get better. And while we were eating, he casually motioned towards the French doors in our kitchen and I noticed, to my delight, that the curtains had been hung back up...on our new curtain rod! He had kept himself busy all day, bless him. And when he sees the list of things I still want him to do...well, he may be searching for gainful employment sooner than I think!